Put the Same Effort! and More!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Probably unknown to many, alhamdulillah that Allah Al-Sitteer, the one that conceals, conceals what I have been obsessed with from most people, except when I wronged myself and expose my own sins to the others. I would not go into details, but let just say here that I was way too obsessed with entertainment, music and fandom to be exact. 

I know now that I really shouldn’t be doing what I have done, to the point of effort that I have put in. Especially when I have not put an ounce of effort to fulfil my obligations as an abd’ that time. The times that I will never get back, and the effects of sin that lingers, is now something that has become that flint that got stuck in the flesh. It hurts and it’s agonizingly bad. 

I wrote this in a reflection of an episode of Juz 30 for 30 that I listened to (in Ramadhan btw - this post has been sitting in my draft for so long and for what haha) where they discussed Juz 4 with the theme of True Success and the Rope of Allah. When Dr Tamara Gray tells the story about Ikramah, it just struck me. All of his past sin was forgiven by Allah when he accepted Islam but that wasn’t enough for him. He then proceeded to put in as much effort and more in Islam as he did when he was fighting against Islam, but now for Islam.

It has stricken me that I have spent way too much time and effort on worldly matters, especially entertainment, to the point, it has stolen the time I should have spent to worship Allah. Countless time I have delayed my solah when I actually can pray it on time but somehow "I've got no time" or "I'm busy, let's perform it one hour later". Worst, I put them off because I was too "busy" watching drama. Busy.Watching.Drama. Busy.Watching.Some.Kpop Group. Time is one thing, but remembering the effort that I used to put into fangirling, all the money... ya Allah, forgive me and let me not do that again. Allow me to put the same effort and more into exalting You, ya Rabb.

Putting this link under so that I can rewatch this whenever I re-read this reflection, insyaAllah. 

103:1 - 103:3 (Al-Asr) إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ.وَٱلْعَصْر. إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ

By the ˹passage of˺ time! Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss, except those who have faith, do good, and urge each other to the truth, and urge each other to perseverance. — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran.